Just got emailed my tickets! That was fast!! click this link
Tequila Christmas Cake Recipe
Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake recipe. Please share with friends and family:
1 26oz bottle tequila
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
2 cup flour
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Your choice of chopped nuts
2 cups dried fruit
Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon ice strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.
Cherry Mristmas
“Why are you doing this? Did somebody put you up to this?”
“Geeze – why don’t you get that I’m attracted to you?”
“Because you’re the kind of MAN that could have any pretty girl he pointed at and I… I don’t look the way pretty girls look”
“Well good… because I don’t date girls. I just date WOMEN. Beautiful women. Like you”
Why doesn’t real life ever happen the way it does on Glee? Dammit.
It’s true… Toronto Maple Leafs are first in the league right now! LOL’d at my desk when I saw this picture :)
At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall all the time… do you know who comes and gets me? The bouncer.
- Chelsea Handler “My Horizontal Life”
Promises, Promises
I’m only 23 for another hour, give or take
I’m a fan of yours and I need a good mistake
I’m not a sinner or preacher, all I have is slight of hand
I do magic tricks for all the boys in the band
Baby could I be the rabbit in your hat?
I’d swing if you’d hand me, hand me the bat
I’m on the road of least resistance
I’d rather give up than give in to this
So promise me only one thing, would you?
Just don’t ever make me promises
No promises
I’ve never done this before, promises, promises
But I’m enjoying the illusion and the things my body says
Now you see me, now you don’t, oh how well you disappear
What are you running from and may I interfere?
Baby could I be the rabbit in your hat?
I’d swing if you’d hand me, hand me the bat
I’m on the road of least resistance
I’d rather give up than give in to this
So promise me only one thing, would you?
Just don’t ever make me promises
No promises
